I Come Bearing Parodies

I like books. This is not a secret. But what I love even more (sometimes, not always) are parodies of said books. So because I'm drowning in the filthy mire known as midterms (or just school in general), here are some particularly wonderful parodies that will have you in stitches.


I dare you to stop at just one. I spent some quality time procrastinating the last two weeks and watched both this and A Very Potter Sequel. And got my roommates hooked on it.


Oddly enough, I enjoy The Vampire Diaries tv show more than the books. Even funnier, I think I like this parody better than the show.


I know I posted this a long time ago, but it's time to bring it back. It's just that good.

We will return to our regular blogging schedule next time.

Promise.

Inspiration

I was going to do a vlog, but then I got sick. So I was going to actually write out an update, but it was tedious and not very exciting. So, instead, you get this lovely post full of images that have helped inspire SILENCE! Way better, right?

I'm still pretty tight-lipped about the story at the moment, but I might confirm a few thoughts if you guess correctly ;-)

Workshops: A Survival Guide

From LTWF

~~~

Ah, the workshop. Something the Creative Writing major fears, yet simultaneously adores. It is a place where our work is torn apart, then put back together by esteemed (or not-so-esteemed) classmates and professors. Where we are able to hone our craft in the hopes that it will someday lead to publication.

Yet so many people are intimidated by it. The other day I spoke with some freshmen at my college who were considering majoring in Creative Writing. The reason they had yet to declare? Fear of workshops. Before my first one, I felt like I was walking headfirst into the zombie apocalypse, so I can understand their anxiety. However, I will tell you what I told them: don’t let your fears hold you back.

So, for those of you still on the fence, or who may be dreading your first workshop, I’m here to give you the 411 on how things work. Keep in mind each school runs them differently, but I think the basics are all pretty much the same.

1. Class sizes are small. My school caps a workshop at 15, and I’ve had one as small as 10. This is good news for you because the smaller the class, the more opportunities you have to share your writing. The more you share, the more you learn. It also means that, yes, you will have to speak.

2. Participation, as I mentioned, is kind of mandatory. On the weeks people critique your work, you may not be allowed to speak for the entire period (I’ve heard a few people say this), or you may be invited to ask questions of your peers based on their comments. Conversely, when it’s someone else’s week, you’ll have to give them feedback. A lot of times this will come in the form of marking up the pages they gave you, or turning in a critique.

Critiques themselves can be a bit tricky. Sometimes you’re going to come across a piece you didn’t like, made no sense, or was obviously thrown together the night before (trust me, it happens). And while you need to be honest, be nice about it. Constructive criticism is what people look for in workshops. Be sure to tell your classmates what you did like! Even if it’s just the character’s name, or the title, you can always find something nice to say. I had a professor whose rule was to write a paragraph talking about the things you enjoyed, and then a second detailing what you thought could be improved upon. This way the writer didn’t go home feeling craptastic at the end of the day. The one guy in my class who neveronce said anything nice about anyone’s work? Well, he never got nice comments in return. Give and take, people.

3. Know that you’re not always going to agree with what people say about your work. Workshop is essentially a giant group of beta readers and, as we’ve talked about here before, you’re not always going to agree with people. And that’s okay. Keep an open mind during workshop. I learned some really valuable techniques and advice from people who gave me some tough love. I also learned when to pick out and toss aside comments that didn’t matter. At the end of the day, it’s still you’re story. Never forget that.

4. Writing styles vary, so be prepared. One of the things I enjoyed most about workshops were the varied writing styles I came across. My favorite class had a mix of horror writers, a satirical writer, one girl who loved to imitate gothic literature, and a taxi driver whose stories stemmed from wacky conversations he overheard in his backseat. I read some really fantastic things that semester, but there were also a few experimental writers whose pieces I could never understand. It’s okay when you don’t get something; chances are someone else didn’t either. But it’s still a learning opportunity.

5. Be prepared to do some reading. Not only will you be reading work by your classmates, but you’ll probably be reading some short stories or novel excerpts as well. Hemingway, Joyce, Poe, Updike, and Oates are all names I’ve come across when reading for class. Read from the best, learn from the best.

6. Expect to see people of all ages. I’ve been in classes with freshmen as well as middle-aged and old men. The varying ages mean varying life experiences, and some really interesting stories and life lessons. Discussions don’t always wind up revolving around the written word, so you might pick up some valuable tips along the way. Take note!

7. You don’t always have to write short stories. I was petrified when I joined my first workshop because I am a terrible short story writer. My first one was torn to bits, and I went home feeling totally defeated. Then I found out I could submit chapters from my novel instead, and my love of workshop increased ten-fold. I can’t guarantee that your school follows this rule, but I’ve talked to a fair number of people where this is allowed. So if writing short stories is what’s scaring you off, just ask!

8. Sometimes there’s food. And free food is always a good reason to go somewhere. I had one summer workshop where we’d occasionally meet at the campus bar. That, my friends, was a good time.

9. Like any class, you can’t always pick your teacher. You might wind up with a lousy instructor, in which case you might feel as if you’re not learning anything. But if the instructor isn’t fantastic, just pay attention to the other kids in class.  You can always learn something from them.

On the other hand, you might wind up with a fabulous instructor. I’ve studied under some really fantastic people, and I wouldn’t trade my time with them for anything. My writing definitely improved because of them and I still see them around campus. Because of the small class size, you get to know your professors pretty well and they can be invaluable resources when you need letters of recommendation, or even just advice.

So hopefully that’s taken the scare out of the dreaded workshop. I can promise you you’ll learn an insane amount if you pay attention, and your writing’s definitely going to improve. If you’re considering signing up for one, I encourage you to do it. Having your work critiqued is never an easy thing, but you can’t really improve until someone tells you what you’re doing wrong. So take a chance. Live a little. Learn a lot.

For those of you who’ve taken workshops before, did you enjoy them? Learn anything particularly useful?

You Can't Please Everyone

From LTWF

~~~

If there’s one thing I’ve learned over the years, it’s that you can’t please everyone. No matter how hard you try, someone is always going to dislike your book. It’s all a part of the vicious cycle of writing. What matters is how you respond to such negativity. You can respond in any number of ways, but we’re going to highlight two that I’ve seen a lot of, and happen to be polar opposites:

1) People who are majorly offended and retaliate/lash out
2) People who accept it and move on

Let’s pretend you wrote a book. Your friends have been nagging you to let them read it for ages, so after you’ve edited the crap out of it, you finally agree to send it to them. You anxiously await their feedback, but what they tell you isn’t what you’d hoped to hear. Two of your friends hated the book. One didn’t like your main character, and the other thought the plot was stupid. If you tend toward option #1, you pointedly tell your friends they know nothing about literature and maybe don’t speak to them for a while. They aren’t writers, you tell yourself. What do they know?

A few days go by, and your anger’s starting to fade. Replacing it is a nagging feeling that maybe your friends were right.What if your main character isn’t likable? What if the plot really is trite? You dive back into your manuscript, dissecting it for the things your friend clearly disliked. You’re filled with doubt, and it starts to eat away at you. Maybe your writing isn’t as good as you thought. Maybe you’re a total hack. I think we’ve all wondered that, no matter what stage of our career we’re in.

If your friends are writers, things might pan out  a bit differently. You may be more inclined to believe them when they say your main characters have no chemistry, but only a little bit. And you won’t change anything based on their suggestions. When they send you their manuscript to look over, you’ll look for every little detail you hate, just to get back at them for not loving yours.

Or you could just totally go ape shit and tell them they’re idiots with unfounded opinions and that you have no idea why you ever respected them as a person. (Trust me, it’s happened. You’ll see it all over the internet if you look hard enough.)

These are all really self-destructive ways to respond to criticism. In each instance, you’re the one holding the short end of the stick. You’re left with unending self-doubt, an anger management problem, and quite possibly a few less friends.

So how do we take criticism and respond in a more positive way? Ho do we grow as writers when people are telling you something’s majorly wrong with your book?

The first thing to do is consider the fact that they may actually be right. Even people who flame your story on FanFiction.net, or trash your story on goodreads may have a point, just said in a not-so-very-nice way. So look for the truth in their words. If it’s there (and it may not be), take note. Maybe you had too many descriptive passages, and it slowed the book down. In book two, you’ll know what you need to work on. Sometimes people who criticize your book will mention that it can’t compare to X book that Y wrote. Take a look at Y’s book and see what’s so great about it. Maybe you’ll learn something, maybe you won’t. Either way, it can’t hurt to check it out.

Say you don’t learn anything, though. Maybe the hater was just spewing negativity and had nothing substantial to say other than, “THIS BOOK ROYALLY SUCKS!” In those cases, it’s best to just leave things well enough alone. So someone didn’t like your book. That sucks, but there’s not much you can do to change their mind. If you think about it, I’m sure there’s a book you’ve read that you strongly disliked, regardless of the fact that everyone else raved about it. You may not have left a scathing review in a public forum, but you wanted to. Sometimes there are just books we don’t like. It’s a fact of life. The best way to handle it is to just move on. Be the bigger person. Accusations may be unfounded, and you have every right to stand up for your work. Just be gracious about it!

Have you guys ever run into this problem? How did you respond?

The Benefits of Reading

This year I've made a point to set aside time each day to read for fun. With school it isn't always easy, but I've found it really beneficial. Not only am I finally getting through the massive pile of books beside my bed, but I've been picking up tips I can apply to my own writing.

For example:
- I've learned a lot about characterization from reading Stephanie Perkins' ANNA AND THE FRENCH KISS, which I may or may not go back to from time to time because I adore it so much. It's so important to be able to relate to a book's main character, and Anna is perfect. Not only that, St.Clair and the other supporting characters are fully fleshed out. I've tried to take note of how they all relate and interact with each other, and apply that to my own writing.

- JANE EYRE offers a plethora of great descriptions. I'm a sucker for longwinded, detailed descriptions of people and places, and Charlotte Bronte is a genius when it comes to setting. I've been using a notecard as a bookmark, and occasionally jot down words or phrases I particularly like. Those have all come in handy when editing my own manuscript; I've discovered a new way to vary words, and I think it's definitely made my own writing stronger.

- THE HUNGER GAMES is the best example I can think of when it comes to conflict. It's everywhere, from the plot to the characters' relationships. The stories are tight and constantly moving forward; there isn't anything extra. I've been able to cut chapters from my own work and write new ones that are more than just filler. Honestly, filling only belongs in delicious pastries, not books.

I could give you a hundred more examples, but you might hate me if I did. But I urge you guys to pay close attention to the things you're reading. No matter what, I can guarantee you'll learn something. Great books are great learning tools, and books you dislike will teach you how to do things better. Either way, you can't lose.

Here are the books I've yet to read (I told myself I couldn't buy any new books until these were all read):
WUTHERING HEIGHTS by Emily Bronte
THE MOCKINGBIRDS by Daisy Whitney
CRESCENDO by Becca Fitzpatrick
XVI by Julia Karr
THE AGENCY by Y.S. Lee
ACROSS THE UNIVERSE by Beth Revis
THE CHEESE MONKEYS by Chip Kidd
INCARCERON by Catherine Fisher
TWENTY BOY SUMMER by Sarah Ockler
EVERCROSSED by Elizabeth Chandler
BITCH IS THE NEW BLACK by Helena Andrews

What do your TBR piles look like right now?

Cover Lust

For those of you who don't know who Coralie Bickford-Smith is, consider this your (in)formal education. She's a London-based designer whose work now graces the covers of the Penguin Hardcover Classics, amongst some of their other collections. If you haven't seen them, feast your eyes:

I've been obsessed with her work since I first saw the Penguin Classics debut a while back. The art nerd in me totally geeked out, and I went in search of them. They're a little difficult to get hold of in the U.S., but Amazon carries them, as well as The Book Depository (and free shipping, too!). I recently purchased JANE EYRE (1. because I'm horribly under-read in the classics department and 2. because the movie's coming out soon) and plan on collecting all of them at some point. I mean, come on. Your bookshelf would look freaking gorgeous if you had an entire shelf of them, and I'm vain like that. I want a pretty bookshelf.

If you want to see more of Coralie's work, you can check out her website or this nifty article that just came out.

Teaser Tuesday

Happy Tuesday, everyone! I recently sent part one of SILENCE to my CPs, and have been doing some major editing since. The next week's going to be a little busy, and since I might not get a lot of writing done, I thought I'd give you another little teaser today. Enjoy!

~~~

            I was running, my lungs burning as I sucked in the frigid November air. My eyes stung, and I couldn’t stop the tears as the wind continued to pummel my body. My parents were on either side of me, hands clenched into fists as we sprinted up Bridge Street, the rest of the rebels only steps behind. In the distance, the Guard called out to us, demanding our immediate surrender.

            No one stopped.

            I pushed myself even harder, arms pumping at my sides. My entire body ached. Snow stung my skin and turned it pink, and my feet slipped on ice as we rounded the corner. The bridge was only a few hundred feet away, swaying dangerously back and forth. I could see the woods beyond it and felt my heart soar. If I could make it to the tree line, I’d be safe.

            But I didn’t. None of us did. The sound of high-powered rifles filled the night. Pop-pop-pop. I saw someone to the right of me go down in a spray of red.

            “Go!” Papa yelled, shoving both my mother and I.

Pop.

The driving force behind me fell away. I turned around just in time to see my father fall face-first into the snow. I opened my mouth to scream, but my mother grabbed my arm and dragged me onto the bridge. I stumbled, immediately reaching out to steady myself. The rope left a pink burn on the palm of my hand.

Mom had stopped to signal the others to disperse, but she was too late. Most of the rebels were lying in the snow, scattered across the clearing. The bridge was weighed down with bodies, barely moving now despite the gale. My heart dropped into my stomach as I stood there, my breath forming tiny puffs in the frigid night air.

The planks beneath my feet shivered as she came running back. “Run, Neva,” she ordered, propelling me toward the trees. “Whatever you do, don’t stop running.”

We took off in the direction of the trees. We were closing in on them, their branches like open arms. Safety was so close and I sucked in an icy breath, ready to make the final drive.

Pop.

And I did exactly what I’d been told not to. I stopped. Right there, in the middle of the bridge. I was less than twenty feet from the tree line, but I couldn’t take another step. My mother lay in the snow, one arm outstretched as if she were reaching for me. I couldn’t see her face, but my mind created a picture full of desperation and eyes filled with fear. Red curls fanned out across the snow, long tendrils whipping back and forth in the breeze. Her coat was red, but it didn’t match the spray of muddy crimson around her. Something inside my chest tightened, and I forced myself to move toward her.

"Mom?" I whispered.

Book Love

Personally, I'm not a fan of Singles Awareness Day, but I am a fan of books. So this year my bookshelf and I are celebrating together, and I thought I'd give three special novels some extra lovin'. (I did a vlog for this, actually, but I'm really sick and look like a monster, so I scrapped it.)

This is my all-time favorite book. My copy is yellowed and dog-eared and falling apart (which is why I also have two backups), yet I can't bear to part with it. I first read it in 5th or 6th grade, so it's been with me for a long time. Back then, I was really into Christian fiction; these days I tend to stay clear, but I keep coming back to this book. The message in it transcends religion and personal beliefs, and really empowered me to do something with my life. The story is heartbreaking yet uplifting, the characters feel like people I've known my entire life, and the ending gives me warm fuzzies. I've read this book at least thirty or forty times since I first picked it up, and I've passed it off on nearly everyone I know. So if any book should get some extra attention, it's this one.

I first read this back in 2009, when I was living in Ireland. The cover was initially what caught my eye, but as soon as I read the first page, I knew I couldn't leave the library without it (since then I've made sure to get my own copy). From what I hear, it's a book you either love or you hate - there's no middle ground. It's narrated by Death, and you find out in the first few pages exactly how it's going to end. The thing is, by the time you get to the end, you've forgotten. I bawled like a baby while I read this (more than once, too). It's an incredible story that surpasses any age barriers; I'm convinced anyone could read it and love it.

If you follow LTWF, you know this has been our book of the month for more than one month (mostly because we forgot to change it, but also because this book is just so fantastic). I also raved about it here last month. I'd heard nothing but good things about the book before it came out, but I wasn't prepared to love it as much as I did. It easily catapulted its way into my top five books of all time, where I'm sure it will remain forever more. It's cute, charming, light-hearted, and all-around lovely. The characters are likable, the romance is spot-on, and it's set in Paris. I mean, how could you not like it?

So, happy Singles Awareness Day, bookshelf! We've been together a long time now, and we're still going strong. Maybe your gift to me this year could be some new reading material? I've got a long list of books I need to acquire, and I'm sure you'd love to have them as well. Keep me posted!

XoXo,

Sammy

Vlog: Why I'm Awesome

I promise to be more useful and informative next time.

It's All in the Name, Part II

If you're a regular reader here at Publishing Lane, you'll remember a few months ago when I talked about naming characters, and how it plays a large part in shaping their personalities. I've since continued to struggle with this problem, and only recently managed to find my way out of the maze. How, you ask? Lists. Lots and lots of lists. Trial and error. Imagination.

SILENCE is in the midst of revisions, and a lot of things have changed. Most importantly, Neva's love interest. Since I started writing, he's undergone three name changes, both first and last:

1. August Eisenberg
2. Zion McGarvey
3. Graham Madigan

I'm still not sure where the hell McGarvey came from; I think I was using it as more of a placeholder than actually seriously considering it. Either way, these changes have caused mini uproars with each new name. The first draft was written entirely with August at the helm. He acted a very certain way, but as I re-outlined the story, I realized it didn't suit his name at all. So either I changed the name, or I changed his personality completely.

A massive rewrite didn't sound fun, so I chose to change his name. Zion fit more with the personality I'd created, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized it was still wrong. And it wasn't just the name. As I sunk my teeth into the second draft, I realized that Neva wouldn't want to be with the boy I'd created. She'd morphed slightly from draft to draft, and as I perfected her, I realized that she needed a better match.

So what did I do? I changed his name again. No only that, I went back to the drawing board and mapped out a slightly different personality. Graham's actions are more deliberate, but also more reminiscent of the way a teenager would act. He isn't so hardened, and I think it's really added to his and Neva's chemistry. So the Graham you see in the final draft won't really resemble the August who was there on day one. Am I sad to let him go? Not at all. Because Graham is the boy I (and Neva) had been trying to find all along. He's charming, kind, thoughtful, but also kind of an idiot. He doesn't always think, which eventually leads to some major complications. And that's why I like him. I like him because he isn't perfect. He's tall, and skinny, and kind of awkward looking. Lanky body, cherub face. So he's stuck feeling like an adult but not looking like one. I love him and I hope, when you get to see him, you will too.

This guy kind of resembles the mental image I have of Graham, so do with that what you will.


On the downside, I still don't have a name for my villain. Every time I reference him, it says "___ ___" in my manuscript. One of these days I'll get it!

Teaser Tuesday

I'm awake, so technically it's still Tuesday! This is an excerpt from the [currently being] edited version of SILENCE. Zion's name has changed to Graham (which, thankfully, seems to be sticking. Third time's the charm, I tell ya!) -- just a head's up.

Also, congrats to Garish Sun, who won my critique contest!

~~~

I backed up, prepared to throw myself at the door again, but wound up launching myself into Graham’s arms. There was a soft oomph as we collided, then a husky laugh as he wrapped his arms around me.

“Well, hello to you, too,” he said, his breath tickling my cheek.

For a moment, I let myself enjoy Graham’s warmth. His body heat seeped into me, counteracting the cold cement I’d been lying on all day. My nose was buried in the collar of his shirt; he smelled like the ocean and pine trees. Though he was a complete beanpole, he was as sturdy and unfailing as ever, holding me up as the tension in my body slowly melted away. His hands rubbed circles up and down my back, and a part of me wished I could stand there forever. It was hard not to feel safe when Graham was around.  

Eventually the tears stopped, and the nausea in my stomach settled. Sensing I had calmed down, he held me at arm’s length and studied me. I watched his blue eyes drag over my body, checking to make sure I was all right. My hand instinctively reached up to brush an unruly blonde curl out of his eyes, something I’d caught myself doing a lot recently. I constantly berated myself for it, since I didn’t want to grow too attached to him. Still, Graham Madigan wasn’t someone you could just walk away from or ignore. While I’d been trying to keep my distance, he was busy trying to get to know me. It would’ve been easier to tell him to leave me alone, but a part of me didn’t want to.

I smiled despite myself.

“Better?” he asked, pulling me toward the stairs.

I nodded. Mister and Misses Madigan were huddled near the radiator, and I gave them a feeble wave from where we sat. Frank saluted me with a grin.

“All right there, Neva? Not dead yet, are we?”

I shook my head while Caroline smacked her husband, promising to have dinner on the table just as soon as we got out of the damn basement.

“We’re having potatoes,” she said, folding her arms across her prominent chest. “It’s all we’ve got.”

Which was only partially true. Mostly, the woman just didn’t know how to cook. Still, I’d rather eat potatoes for a week straight than starve to death.

Frank let out an exaggerated grown, which earned him another slap on the wrist from his wife. Beside me, Graham was trying not to laugh and failing miserably. Caroline’s face twitched, as if she wanted to smile, but it never quite broke through. It still amazed me that, despite the war raging outside, the family sequestered in the basement of #509 was still smiling.

The Parent Trap

I'd like to take a moment to deviate from the main topic of this blog and talk about something else that's really important to me: my parents. Bear with me, people. This might get mushy.

For the record, I have the greatest parents in the entire world. This is not a biased opinion, but hard fact. I even have evidence to back it up.

1. My mom cooks for me whenever I come home. Yes, this is something lots of mothers do, but mine does it best.

2. My mom sends me emails. This is also something other mothers do, but mine does it better. Today she emailed me to ask if I'd ever eaten at some obscure sandwich shop, and to tell me she bought me a 50's black and white polkadot dress at the Goodwill.

3. Sometimes my mommy buys me groceries.

4. My mom watches Golden Girls with me.

5. My padre also sends me emails, which I can guarantee are better than any email you've ever received from anyone, at any time. Case in point:

I heard your podray would not let you try a sip of coffee from his

cup.But you can always have a drink from my water dish.I hope you

change your mind about me. I think I am kind of cute.I love you, Mr.

Puffy snake

6. My padre sometimes fills up my car with gas. And then keeps me from leaving for an extra ten minutes because he wants to double-check the tires to make sure I won't die on the drive home.

7. If I come home for the weekend, my padre runs out to the car, shouting, "Sum's home! Sum's home!" I'm then smothered with hugs and more shouting.

8. My padre can't actually spell 'padre.'

I always hear people complaining about their parents, and that makes me sad. I wish I could clone my parents and share them with those kids. But I guess, if I did that, they wouldn't really be my parents, and they aren't something I want to share.

The closer it gets to June, the more I realize that I'll have to leave my parents. I always knew I'd have to someday, but someday isn't that far away anymore. I won't be able to come home on the weekends to do laundry (I refuse to spend $12 every time I want to wash my clothes. Landlords suck.), or spend an afternoon thrifting with my mom. My dad won't wander into my room with my sister's pet snake, trying to creep me out. I'll get to see them once or twice a year, and while I'm ready to move on and live my life, it's still sad to think about leaving them.

My parents are the reason I've gotten to where I am today. They've constantly encouraged me, and instilled in me an indispensable work ethic. We don't have a lot of money; my mom and dad both work two jobs, and I've had to pay for college myself. My parents never even went to college. But you know what? They've never once complained. They've taken everything in stride, and they've raised three kids. I think we all turned out pretty well, too (even if my brother still likes to pull stupid pranks, and my sister has a pet snake). My dad is the happiest person I've ever met, and I try to emulate that. I've learned not to sweat the small stuff, and when the bigger things come around, well, I've got my parents.

You know what else makes my parents so great? They've let me fail. They've let me make my own choices and learn from my mistakes. If they hadn't let me go to Ireland, I'd be a completely different person right now, and I don't think I'd like her nearly as much. They let me transfer colleges three times, even if they didn't know whether the next school would be the right one. Heck, they let me major in whatever I wanted, even though the economy sucks and jobs are hard to come by. They've been there to support me through every decision, even if they didn't like it. I'm still not sure how they feel about me moving to New York, but you know what? They're letting me do it, and they're still behind me. They've supported my writing, and even though I haven't let them read any of it, they still tell their friends about it. Like it's cool, and something to be proud of. Not every parent does that, and I'm unfailingly grateful that my parents believe in me. I could've gone to school to make wooden shoes and they'd probably tell everyone how proud they were, but they're parents, you know? It's what they do.

My life's had its ups and downs, there's no doubt about that. Middle school and high school were rough, but my parents always told me things would get better. And they did. Looking back, I wish I'd listened to them. It would've saved me a whole lot of stress, let me tell you! These days, as college comes to an end, and the rest of my life is starting to come into focus, I can honestly tell all you younger folks that things really do start to look up once you're an adult. Listen to your parents - they've been through it, and they aren't lying (despite what you think now. Trust me, I used to be one of you).

So hats off to you, Madre and Padre. You really are the greatest parents in the world, and I can never thank you enough for the woman you've helped me become.

(And, for the record, I can't wait to see my dad in Time Square. Talk about a fish out of water. I'll be sure to get pictures.)

Coffee Table Books

I love coffee table books, despite the fact that I currently lack said coffee table. When I move to New York, I plan to get one ASAP, in order to properly display my growing collection of coffee table books. Which, realistically, could probably just form a table themselves, but that's not the point. I don't know what it is about this kind of book that I love to collect, but the last few years have been spent carefully picking out things I feel represent me as a person, and cover most of my interests. Maybe that makes me really strange, and this post is probably completely useless to most of you, but I thought I'd take a few moments to suggest some light reading. Here are a few of the books I'm excited to display!

THE SELBY IS IN YOUR PLACE

The Selby is one of my favorite websites. I stalk it on a regular basis, and you should too. If I hadn't gone into creative writing, I'd probably have gone into design (either interior or personal style). I lived for the old days of Trading Spaces on TLC, and when I'm confronted with a new television, HGTV is one of the first channels I search for. I urge you to check out the website -- it's full of awesome interiors and design ideas. A lot of these people live in New York and have tiny apartments, so I'm definitely taking note on how they utilize their space. Plus, the pictures and interviews are great.

CAUSING A SCENE

One of the things I'm most excited about when moving to New York is the ability to finally get involved with Improv Everywhere. I think what they do is genius, and I've been dreaming of the day when I could witness - or, even better, participate - in a mission. If you haven't heard of them before, check out their website. This book is a summary of some of their greatest hits, and I laugh every time I look at it.

THE ART OF THE PRE-RAPHAELITES

Did you know I used to be a double-major? Creative writing and art history. Turns out it'd take more than five years to graduate if I wanted both, so I dropped art history. Still, I took a lot of classes on it, and my favorite was taught by Nancy Marshall on the Pre-Raphaelites. This book was actually our textbook, but I couldn't bring myself to sell it back once the class was over. I love all the images, and it's actually a good read if you like the period.

HOW TO FIND FLOWER FAIRIES

Okay, okay, hear me out. I saw this in our university bookstore my sophomore year and couldn't resist buying it. It's the most gorgeous pop-up book I've ever seen. It somehow managed to survive the Mold Incident of 2010, and is sitting on my shelf, waiting to be boxed up and moved across the country. I don't care that it's a children's book -- I still love it.

CHANEL: COLLECTIONS AND CREATIONS

I love fashion, and Chanel is by far my favorite designer. Naturally, I had to have a book on her work.

SURVEY OF HISTORIC COSTUME

Yet another textbook I couldn't get rid of. The cover is gorgeous, and I love all of the images inside. It covers clothing from the ancient world to present, and is chock full of useful information. I've definitely consulted this when writing.

AUDREY 100

My collection wouldn't be complete without a little Audrey Hepburn. She's my favorite actress, style icon, and overall hero. I'm working my way through all of her movies, but Breakfast at Tiffany's is one of my top three films of all time. I also own 5TH AVENUE, 5 A.M., another coffee table book dedicated to the making of the film. AUDREY 100 is a collection of her best photos, and I stare at them endlessly.

What books do you have on your coffee table?

Movin' On Up!

To the east side! Of the country, that is.

That's right, folks. I'm moving to New York City. Gotham. The Big Apple. The city that never sleeps. In just five short months, I'll be leaving the humdrum life of small town Wisconsin to chase after my lifelong dream of living in a big city. The big city. It's been official for a little over a week, so most of you probably already know. But since this blog is supposed to be about my journey into publishing, whichever route I happen to take, I figured it was important to document this life changing decision of mine.

You know when you were a kid, and you told people you wanted to be a vet because you spent your days bandaiding your stuffed animals? Yeah, that wasn't me. For as long as I can remember, I dreamed of leaving the Midwest. I love my family, and I love my friends, but the state of Wisconsin and I just don't get along. Publishing doesn't exist here, for one thing, but even before I knew that's what I wanted to do, I felt out of place. I liked big cities full of lots of people. I like noise. Mountains and rolling hills just don't do it for me; give me a sidewalk and some skyscrapers and I'm good to go. Living in D.C. gave me a taste of what it would be like to live somewhere bigger, somewhere better. Public transportation? Yes, please! (Though I will admit, I don't much like the idea of handing my car over to my siblings.) Businessmen and women everywhere? Why not? 9-5 (but more like 24 hour) jobs? Give me!

As soon as I decided I wanted to go into publishing, I knew I'd eventually wind up in New York. It was kind of a given, really. I just wasn't sure it would happen so soon. But I had a long chat with my parents about this, and they're on board. For a while they tried to pretend like I just thought I was moving. "Oh, Sam, you're so cute. Where do you plan to get all this money from?" Which, granted, is still a question I'm asking myself, but it isn't going to stop me. For the first time in my life, I've made a real, true, Grown Up Decision. To do the things I want to do in life, I need to relocate. So I am.

I am doing it.

Let the countdown begin!

Sexual Tension

It's Wednesday night, and you know what that means! Law & Order: SVU! I don't know about you guys, but I can't get enough of that show. I've been watching it since the day it aired, and I'll be a fan until the day I die. Sundays when I have nothing to do? There's always an SVU marathon to keep me busy. Weeknights? Check. Wednesdays? Glued to my TV for an hour.

But I'm not here to preach to you the wonders of SVU (though you should watch it if you haven't). I'm here to talk to you about sexual tension. SVU just happens to be a great jumping off point.

For those of you who are unfamiliar, SVU is centered around the NYC Special Victims Unit, and the cops that work there. Most prominently, partners Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler. I'm pretty sure 99.9% of fans have been cheering for them since day one, but the nice thing about SVU is that it doesn't dwell on personal relationships. Season 8 deviated from that a bit, and there have been a fair amount of episodes that really showcased the closeness Olivia and Elliot have. But what keeps people coming back, besides the incredible acting, is the sexual tension. Maybe us fans have made it all up, but I don't think so. Because the moment the writers put Olivia and Elliot together, the show is over. I'm expecting it to happen during the final episode, whenever that may be, but until then, I don't want to see it.

But why would it mean the end of the show, you ask? Simple. Because the sexual tension would be gone. The "will they or won't they" question will have been answered, and there would be nothing left to build up to. Having Detective Beck step in for a while helped to increase the sexual tension, and the fact that Elliot's married (when is he going to divorce Kathy again?) creates conflict. All of these obstacles are what drive the show and the Olivia/Elliot relationship.

Or how about Bones? Booth and Bones had constant sexual tension until this last season. As soon as they began to actually acknowledge their feelings for each other, the show began to falter. The writers tried to create more conflict by giving Booth a new love interest, but it wasn't the same, and the fire between him and Bones seems to have flickered. Their story isn't nearly as interesting these days, and I really wish they'd kill off Hannah. Now that the overwhelming issue of their attraction has been addressed, the show doesn't have much to run on.

Another good example is Ballykissangel. The writers created conflict via Father Clifford's profession, so while the viewer knew he was attracted to Assumpta, they knew he couldn't act on his feelings, and vice versa. Thus, sexual tension. As soon as the relationship turned into something real, the show was over.

See a pattern? The thing with sexual tension is that you have to have it to create conflict, which is a driving force behind all storytelling. Once the sexual tension is resolved, the story is generally over. It's a great lesson to take away from television, and I've definitely tried to incorporate it into my own writing. As I begin revisions for SILENCE, I'm taking this particular lesson to heart. I'm adding in much more during the first half of the book, and trying to carry it throughout part two, even with a character being absent. This actually works pretty well, because even with one character missing, the other is constantly working to find him, and to get back the love she's lost.

How about sexual tension in literature? Take TWILIGHT, for example. Edward is initially so hot and cold around Bella that it makes the moment where they become an official couple that much more satisfying. And even after that, the fact that Edward so desperately wants to drink her blood but refuses to let himself creates more sexual tension. Especially because Bella is a horny teenager who wants to consummate their relationship.

HUNGER GAMES. Obvious sexual tension there, caused by the triangle of Katniss, Gale, and Peeta. Having a third party automatically ups the ante. Obviously Peeta was going to win in the end, but there were definitely moments where one wondered if Gale would be a better choice.

Going back to the television theme, how many of you remember the show La Femme Nikita? It is my all-time favorite and, coincidentally, offers the best example of unresolved sexual tension. For those who've seen the show from beginning to end, you'll understand this a bit better, but in case anyone decides to start watching the show, I don't want to spoil anything. The thing about LFN is that the two main characters, Michael and Nikita, are put to the test for five seasons. Just when you think they're going to get together, Section does something to force them apart. Sometimes, it's even their own doing. They're always back and forth with their feelings and loyalties, and it created some of the best sexual tension EVER, as far as I'm concerned. For being a man of so few words, Michael manages to convey his feelings and desires in a mere look, while Nikita is constantly pushing him with heartfelt words and actions. Their obvious differences make it that much more difficult for them to be together, and wondering just how they could ever manage to make it work is a huge driving force of the show. Not to mention the fact that the universe is constantly trying to keep the apart. It's the most genius show ever, and if you want a prime example of sexual tension, look no further.

Think back to some of your favorite shows or books. How were the relationships handled? Once the sexual tension was resolved, did the story have to end? I'd say, in most cases, that's true. As I said, it's obviously an important part of storytelling, and I encourage you to look back at your own work and consider the relationships between characters. Is the tension and conflict there? Is it continuous throughout the story? If it isn't, is there a way to fix it? It's definitely something I've come to pay close attention to these days, and I hope you'll remember to focus on sexual tension the next time you sit down to write. Just like in SVU, good sexual tension will keep readers (or viewers) coming back for more!